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Saturday, March 13th, 2010
12:42 pm - Ukrainian Love

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Friday, May 2nd, 2008
12:06 am - Sounds about right...

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Wednesday, April 16th, 2008
8:25 pm - Back to Angst & Boredom
It's been a long time since I updated this journal, for various reasons.
OK, the main reason is that I abandoned it and created another journal when I left for Germany, but to be completely fair it's been quite a long time since I updated that one, so it's not a perfect excuse.
However, now I'm on one of my (fortunately now not so frequent) 'everyone cares what I think' kicks, it seems a bit silly to continue writing a journal entitled 'Alex's Adventures in Deutschland' from a house in Kent. But then, also a shame to delete it.
So I thought I'd simply return to this, the journal of boredom and angst, as it became post-university. Updated whenever I have some rant against humanity, the world or the established order, or more likely just when I get very bored.

I'm sure that inspires you all to read, but I would appreciate a quick hello from anyone actually still on my friends list who still bothers with this thing.

current mood: curious

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Tuesday, August 8th, 2006
2:15 pm - Procrastination
Sometimes, I feel like I have a lot to say. Not a lot that anyone might particularly want to hear, but a lot that I need to say, a lot that would be interesting for me to write down and consider from another angle, outside of my own mind.

However, this never seems to happen, because a vital step is missing - my 'get up and go', if you will.
It's as if it just got up and went.

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Tuesday, August 1st, 2006
7:17 pm - A New Month
Well, it's August.

That came around bloody quickly, didn't it?

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Tuesday, July 18th, 2006
3:31 pm - The Fiery Inferno Awaits Me... Can It Be Any Worse?
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fourth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Extreme
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)High

Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test

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Tuesday, July 4th, 2006
7:22 pm
I'm very hot, very tired (despite doing nothing) and even more bored... So it seems like a natural time for a bit of a ramble.

Blame the weather - I've tried to have a nap (in keeping with my quest to become the world's first premature 70 year old), but it's just far too humid.

Now, to business - does anyone else here have a selective memory?
I'm far too much of a gentleman to go into specifics, but it seems I have a little bit of a 'mental block' when it comes to certain things. If I facilitate a contact and things don't happen, the burning disappointment, sadness and even anger is soon overlooked in favour of delightful delusions about 'next time'.
I'm not sure if this is because I am genuinely very stupid, have a genuine mental illness, a genuine optimism (surely not?) about this particular situation, or comes from more practical things, such as me having nothing left to think about should I let it go.

I have my graduation on Tuesday - my Nan insisted I go to take pictures, but now the cheque is signed I'm really not sure I want to.
Yes, I'd love to dress smartly and strut about, but

a) I don't realistically feel the situation means anything academically;
b) It means seeing many people I either don't know or don't like, yet will eternally be more successful than me;
c) I don't have anyone except my parents to watch me, or care, and this stings.

I mean what am I, 15? Certain camps are now trying to pretend I'm ridiculous for thinking that a 22 year old man might have a special someone to share special occasions with. Absolutely. I'm not even going to go there - just think 'Parallel Alex'.

On the subject of never ending adolescence, I'd recommend anyone who reads this visits this link:


Whether or not you're a tennis fan, there's surely something here for everyone. I was about to rather stupidly say that I've already wasted half an hour of my life looking at these pictures, but then that's ridiculous - you can't really 'waste' something you have an unhealthy abundance of, and for me that's surely time.
Not that it ever helps me achieve anything, but then you can't expect miracles.

I've taken to sitting up long into the night (well, early hours of the morning) trying to write, because it always amazes me that anybody can sleep in this weather.
I've reached a stage where I think if my life must consist of delusional fantasies, then I may as well attempt to put them to good use.

Well, that remains to be seen.

current mood: Cheerful as ever

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Saturday, July 1st, 2006
10:02 pm - Death To The Portuguese
As most of you know, I don't really follow football. However, I always make an exception for watching England play.

All I shall say is that they did not deserve to lose their quarter-final match today. The Portuguese may have run around the pitch with their shirts off like the arrogant tossers they undoubtedly are, but hopefully deep down they know they did not deserve to win.

I doubt that's the case, however - people like that always win, and always seem to conveniently overlook the fact that they have to cheat, scheme and generally act like complete arseholes in order to do so. This allows them more confidence than the more reserved and the decent, and thus the unhappy cycle continues unabated.

Anyway, I'm not one to hold a grudge - I hope they break a leg in their next match - every last one of them, literally, the cheating bastards.

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Tuesday, June 20th, 2006
1:06 pm - Some Thoughts. Stupid Title For A Journal, But It's Mine.
I got to sleep and around 6am, and I've only just woken up.

I'm very bored, and so the indignity of sharing my most private thoughts doesn't seem quite so bad as sitting here staring at the blank screen, as I pretty much have for the last month and a half.

Several things have just occurred to me, and they're quite frightening. The first is that some people really are destined to be alone. It happens. It is happening to me, as we speak.
Some of you will scoff and laugh, but for the most part the only people who react like that will be those expecting calls or contact from loved ones, those who are confident and secure in the belief that they mean something to somebody, or perhaps those who went to the cinema with their girlfriend last night. Therefore their lives have meaning. Because how others feel about us is very important indeed.
My life could be so very different, with some very minor adjustments. Some of those would come from within me, and some of them would take place externally, thus helping to foster further change in me, and mould me into a coherent human being, somebody who makes sense, to others and himself. Somebody who fits into the world (although looking around me at the state of the world, I'm not 100% sure changing to fit in would be healthy).

I sort of have this dream where there's a parallel universe in which another version of me exists. This other Alex looks exactly like me (well, perhaps he's lost a few pounds), and he is exactly like me in almost every respect. He even sees lack of a social life and social contact as a reason to stop shaving. But he still shaves everyday.
The difference between me and this other Alex is, the world reacts to him differently, treats him differently, and he's therefore fundamentally different in a very important way: he's well balanced.
Small things, or perhaps they seem so small. At least to people who take such things for granted.
So, let me take you into this parallel universe, and also back in time.

It's February, and the parallel Alex is sitting in a parallel classroom in a parallel university. In a parallel Canterbury, no less.
It's Friday morning, and he has this class with a goddess. A Lithuanian one. Her hair is as blonde as the purest gold, her skin as flawlessly pale as the finest porcelain. Her eyes are beautifully blue, deep blue in some ways and yet clear and piercing, the kind of icy, refreshing blue you might see if you cut a hole in the surface ice and stared down into the Arctic ocean.

Before Lithuania was forcibly Christianised by the Teutonic Knights, she was worshipped as the Goddess of Fertility, as her beautiful golden hair was said to symbolise the successful corn crop, meaning that the Lithuanians would eat well that year. Women who wished to conceive would thus leave an offering at her shrine, in the hope her beautiful but chaste virility would help them. It's a true story.

Anyway, he has this class, with this girl. He considers her the most beautiful creature ever to have walked the earth, but that's not terribly important - the important thing is, he likes her. Her presence makes him happy, makes him believe in the goodness of the world.
Now, here's the most important parallel bit: when she catches his eye and smiles, this Alex smiles back in a manner that does NOT make him look like he's got a nervous twitch.
This Alex walks up to her after the class. Remember, he's had totally different life experiences - he has a degree of confidence. A rejection would shatter him, too, make no mistake; he's just better equipped to ensure that no such rejection is forthcoming, for 2 main reasons:

1) He has a personality of some description.
2) He's not a useless prick.

Remember - it's all opposite here. So, he goes and asks her for a cup of tea after the class. He finds her beauty intimidating, but in a pleasant way.
She accepts, of course, as she's less busy in this parallel world (or perhaps less inclined to make excuses, depending on whether or not you're a gullible twat who constantly needs to lie to himself).
They enjoy each other's company - it's not a purely one sided thing. He finds her use of the English language adorable, her love of coffee perplexing and he makes her laugh, as well as feel safe. She likes his accent, and his knowledge of Lithuanian history, as well as his unusually apt anger at how her people were betrayed and sacrificed to the Soviet Union and that c**t Stalin. It's mutual.
So, things take their natural course (or what I'm led to believe is their natural course by those of my friends who aren't trapped as a perpetual 13 year old).
What I of course mean by this is that there was a mutual attraction - she liked parallel Alex, at least enough to allow him to prove himself with further opportunities.
So there was dinner, and dancing (parallel Alex could dance), cinema visits, drinks after classes - all sorts of fun social activities which, when combined with the person you truly want to spend time with, make the world go round.
Of course, parallel Alex was able to maintain interesting conversation. He didn't turn into a gibbering wreck with a blank mind as soon as she turned her gaze on him.
Parallel Alex was therefore able to capitalise on the opportunities which God had so kindly and unexpectedly bestowed upon him.

How does this end? Well, I'd have thought that was obvious really. I sit here now, planning to get very drunk later (well, quite soon in fact). Parallel Alex has things somewhat differently - he's getting texts from her as I write this.
Perhaps they'll meet up later, watch the football together. Perhaps she'll answer his texts and emails.
Perhaps he'll get to fall asleep holding her in his arms and making her feel happy and safe like she deserves.
Perhaps they'll go for a walk later on, just a nice slow stroll, hand in hand, enjoying the weather and the location and most of all each others company.
Perhaps they'll have a holiday together - he'll take her to Paris to fulfill her dream, or maybe she'll take him on a tour of Vilnius.
Perhaps most of all what I'm getting at is that she might think he's worth investing the same feelings he has for her in. She might see him as a worthwhile human being, someone she wants, someone she could perhaps love.
I've lost that.
I hope parallel Alex enjoys himself, wherever he is. Such things should not be taken for granted.

It doesn't sound like very much written down. Perhaps I'm just as bad at this as at everything else.
Lastly, I'm reminded of something which Joyce taught me, one of many things: even when you're surrounded by other people, even people who claim to know and like you, you're on your own.
Because true loneliness is a state of mind, something which burns in your heart, not something solved by standing in crowds or adding forty people to your msn list.
So please, each and every one of you; take something from this. If you have what I can only dream about, cherish it, and don't take it for granted.
I might be a miserable bastard, but I am happy that some of you made it. Really. It takes a special kind of person, someone who certainly must have many qualities I don't. Finding someone who understands you and cares enough to try in the first place is an incredibly precious thing.

So, there it is. Comment if you wish and good day.

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Saturday, June 17th, 2006
2:17 pm - I Can't Smile Without You
A question: Has anyone else ever woken up to the realisation that their life is an utter, living nightmare?

Looking at my desk calendar, I see that it's Saturday, 17th of June.
This means that I have done absolutely nothing constructive for well over a month. Where on earth did all the time go? I have serious, important things I need to be doing, like translating legally binding contracts I'm expected to sign from German into English, winning the heart of a beautiful maiden, etc etc etc.

But this time has to all intents and purposes disappeared; I promise each and every one of you that I have not deliberately wasted it. It's just gone, never to return, much like my youth and my years of opportunity.
I'm only writing this for something to do really; if people comment, it's nice to know that someone out there would miss me if I disappeared forever.
I was planning to write a sort of chronicle of my university years, but I keep putting it off for fear it will depress me too much, remind me of all those things I didn't do.
I'm also in the curious position of not responding to people's social overtures (despite complaining about my loneliness), on the basis that I have nothing really to talk about; I don't want to bore people, and once you've sat on your own for a certain length of time, it doesn't seem quite so bad. In fact, it just seems like your lot, something you have to live with.

Contrary to popular belief, I really don't enjoy moaning. I've just reached one of those (fairly) frequent points where I wonder quite what it is that separates me from the rest of humankind.
There must be something.
Why is it that I always like people far more than they like me?
Am I too forward, too clingy? Or do I just focus on the wrong people? Maybe I'm just an idiot.
Although thinking you're an idiot for hoping someone would like you after you've made the effort is not really a healthy mindset. But if the cap fits...

Life should be better than this, more meaningful. I'm sure of it. What kind of a cruel joke would my life be if this was my lot, all I had to look forward to?

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Friday, June 9th, 2006
2:21 pm - They Think It's All Over...
Well, today term officially ends.

That's that, then.

What a curious anti-climax.

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Tuesday, May 30th, 2006
10:36 pm - My Taste In Women
Raw score: 48% Big Breasts, 27% Big Ass, and 44% Cute!

Thanks for taking the T and A and C test! Based on your selections, the results are clear: you show an attraction to larger breasts, smaller asses, and sexier composures than others who've taken the test.

Note that you like women thin and top-heavy. This is best achieved with plastic surgery, but some specimens do exist in nature.

My third variable, "cuteness" is a mostly objective measure of how innocent a given model looked. It's determined by a combination of a lot of factors: lack of dark eye makeup, facial expression, posture, etc. If you scored high on that variable, you are either really nice OR you're into deflowering teens. If you scored low, you are attracted to raunchier, sexier, women. In your case, your lower than average score suggests you appreciate a sluttier look. Kudos!

Recommended Celebrity: Angelina Jolie, Pamela Anderson, .
Avoid: Oprah. Actually, that's good advice for everyone.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 52% on tit-size

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 8% on ass-size

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 13% on cuteness
Link: The Tits, Ass, and Cuteness Test written by chicken_pot_pie on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

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Friday, May 19th, 2006
8:59 pm - The Thin Red Line
Well, it's that moment - due to chronic absentmindedness, I have just taken a red pen and a ruler and crossed out my final examination (the title, fairly obviously I'd assume, is not about WWII in the Pacific).

So, my last examination (if I've done a lot right, ever) has now been taken. It's one of those funny things - as soon as they began I couldn't wait for them to over, but now that they are, I'm already feeling at a little bit of a loss time-wise. I have three months of sitting and staring at this screen ahead of me.
Going in to take the exams did provide some opportunities for socialising which are now gone, but never mind.

It really is now all over - and as my mammoth post from the end of last term revealed, that's not exactly something I'm ecstatic about. But now, it feels even more final and even more sad - there's no more dismissing lost opportunities with a 'there's always next time' attitude. There is no more 'next time' for me as far as the University of Kent goes.
It was one of those 'comfort zones', as our cousins across the Atlantic say - even if I said it was all over, at least part of me realised there was something left to come, retained some hope. Now, there seems to be none.
All my notes bearing the names of my current friends and teachers are now bound for the loft, to join their fellows from institutions and years past.
I wonder, looking back in say ten years, just exactly what I'll make of my time at university. I can't imagine who I'll still be in touch with, due to the (some would say frankly amazing) achievement of making no new friends (well, I made some, but we're losing touch already), and going on my probable degree outcome, I'm hardly going to fob it off as a time of 'intellectual growth', or some other such nonsense.
A lot of people are going out celebrating in Canterbury tonight, and I wish them a good time, but I just don't have the energy/inclination - which makes me sad, because it really seems as if my university career will end with a whimper.

Ah well.
I now have some rather personally important decisions to make, and a lot will depend on my mood; going on it currently, this does not bode well.

Then, in three months, Germany, but not before I turn 22 - things really are changing at an astounding and uncomfortable rate.

current mood: Vaguely surprised/sad

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Tuesday, May 16th, 2006
10:34 pm - Singing In The Rain
I truly was. First running, then waiting, then sitting, then singing and attempting not to dance.

Glory be!

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Thursday, May 11th, 2006
8:19 pm - "Celebrating 100 Years of Language Assistants..."
Today, I received a letter from the British Council, confirming that the 'German Authorities' have accepted my application to be a language assistant.

I would also like to draw your attention to my post of the 8th of May 2006, which apparently is not displayed on my friends' pages because I backdated it.

All comments welcome as always.

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Monday, May 8th, 2006
9:37 pm - The Singing Revolution
Well hello again everybody, and I hope you're all well.
The lack of recent updates can be explained simply by saying that I've had very little to say, either of value or originality. I'm sure you all know exactly what I mean.

Well, the exam period began on Saturday morning (something which many seem to find vaguely surprising). This morning, I had PO618, Eastern European Politics (of Lara Silver fame). Thanks to that ignorant Canadian cow I had to achieve 66% in the exam simply to scrape an overall 2:1 for my degree. I don't think I did it, so she's off the Christmas card list - I know more about Stalinism than she could ever comprehend.
The exam didn't exactly start well - due to weekday parking restrictions I found myself with a ten minute dash to make in five, in pouring rain - having forgotten my coat I took the umbrella which I keep in my car for just such an eventuality. However, due to it being so slippery and wet I couldn't run properly, so sort of 'minced' the entire way, holding my umbrella aloft...
Another thing is I keep remembering things I knew and should have put in the exam, but for some reason known only to God did not. Quite what use is it to know now that on the 23rd of August 1989, approximately 2 million indigenous Balts joined hands in a continuous chain stretching from Vilnius, through Riga to Talinn? Or that Sąjūdis was ousted from the Seimas in 1992 despite arguably freeing Lithuania?

Anyway, back to Silver - it turns out that she slated Marija's grammar and spelling in the essay - for example pointing out that 'endeavor' should be 'endeavour' (fair dues), but failing to correct 'defense' to 'defence'. This amply demonstrates the woman's inconsistency and ignorance - she can't spell herself, yet feels able to criticise another. If she wasn't vaguely attractive, Professor Sakwa would never let her near students and essays in a million years. It's strange to think of such an intelligent man being so blinded by some pretty young thing fluttering her lashes.
Anyway, Marija's first language is not English - what's Lara's excuse, other than mild retardation and a bastardised use of our language? The last time I checked Canada used Standard English, not American English, and therefore her spellings should be up to scratch.
If I could write a first class essay in Lithuanian (or indeed English!) I would consider myself to be doing pretty well - so I think Lara should respect Marija's intelligence (as somebody who actually has some) and put up or shut up.

Other than the exam's potential terrible mark (and I have surprised myself in these things before), the rest of my day was pretty good - for the first time in my life I went to Starbucks, where I was privileged to be charged £1.55 for a teabag, a spurt of hot water and the use of a mug.
However, the company certainly made the visit worthwhile, and it put a smile on my face.

Last little rant of the day - some of you may have noticed that my music choice is starred (*). This is because I felt it needed some explanation. A catchy song, but one I cannot see the point of...
Anyone who describes a soldier as 'a pure-bred killing machine' with a straight face either needs therapy, or to stop reading so much J.G. Ballard.
Why does the woman insist on wailing "I don't want to die" so often - no one is asking her to, she's not in the forces... People who sign up to the Army know (or they should) what they are getting themselves into - apparently in the US a lot of youngsters do it to pay astronomical university fees, but surely logic would dictate that if you're getting paid surprisingly well for something, it's not going to be pleasant, or at least not something too many others would consider doing.
Frankly you can earn about $100,000 a year for being a private security guard in Iraq, and I might consider doing so - except for the fact my expected life span would then be shorter than that of a First World War pilot in a luminous plane holding up a large target.
Well, rant over - I'm just not a huge fan of convinced pacifists. Sometimes (not all the time by any means) war really IS necessary. I'll bet she would be singing a lot higher than that if she'd been born in Iraq and spirited to one of Saddam's prisons.

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Saturday, April 15th, 2006
9:20 pm - A Surprisingly Good Friday
Well, Happy Easter my loyal readers.

I hate to brag, as you know, but finally a little bit of good fortune came my way - this time yesterday I was at the St. George's Hotel.

The reason for my being in this location was Vicki's engagement celebration - and what a celebration it was. I had an absolutely fantastic evening in delightful company, and have finally learnt that taking risks occasionally does pay off.

At this moment in time, I'm a very happy man.

current mood: happy

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Thursday, April 13th, 2006
12:59 pm - Thursdays
Well, my former busiest day, and I have absoloutely nothing to do except watch television and sit online.

Life is a cruel and pointless thing.

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Wednesday, April 12th, 2006
12:39 pm - A Midspring Night's Dream
For the past two weeks I have had the same recurring dream:

I am at UKC, in a darkened corridor which I don't find familiar. I'm out of breath, and it seems that I've run far and fast to get here, although I don't really know why.
There are lots of people waiting outside the seminar room, but I know none of them - they are all just part of a general, shadowy crowd, merging into one another.
We file in and sit down - the room would be familiar to anyone who has ever set foot into a modern classroom, yet at the same time I know I've never been there before.
The seating is arranged in very long rows, which give the impression of the room being much bigger than it actually is. Everything is still masked in shadows, giving a sinister impression, but the light rectangles on the curtains suggest that it might be bright outside.

The teacher is a very strict woman whom I've never seen before - although young she gives the impression of being stern, and barks at several people to stop talking before she begins.
I laugh at her admonishments, and she tells me that if I don't like it, then I'm welcome to leave.
Frankly, I can't be bothered to walk all the way back downstairs - besides which, I cannot shake the feeling that I'm waiting for something to happen.
As if on cue, the door opens, and Marija hurries in late, giving me a smile.
Unfortunately, there's no room in my row, and she sits at the end somewhere.
The teacher is having a go at someone once more, and I close my eyes, just wanting to drift away  - a class is now the furthest thing from my thoughts. As the general discussion opens, it soon becomes apparent that there is only one valid opinion in the room - whichever one the teacher holds (and for the record its relationship with reality is often tenuous).
Marija catches my gaze, and I can almost feel myself blushing - how on earth can I concentrate under such conditions?
The teacher snaps me back to the real world - how dare I daydream in her time?
I decline to comment, and Marija smiles sympathetically - something which instantly makes it all ok, I might add.
The teacher starts talking about the Baltics, and Marija is quick to contradict her - this woman has absolutely no idea, so it's good that someone has picked up the mantle.
The teacher snaps that she doesn't care where Marija comes from, she should keep her mouth shut unless she is spoken to.
I can hold my tongue no longer, and get to my feet, telling the woman that she is an ignorant fool, but that aside she has no right to be rude to Marija, far less to prevent us hearing her interesting, well informed opinions. She should apologise.
Briefly, the teacher looks stunned, and then angry - she tells me to get out, and deflated, I turn to leave.
As I go, I feel Marija take my hand - she smiles at me, then we leave together, not looking back.

After that, the details become more hazy - one time I drove her under Luton Arches, although it was being rennovated and there was scaffolding everywhere, whilst in addition you could see all the original Victorian brickwork.
Another time we drove to a beautiful lake, then went swimming together, and the water was so clear you could see silvery little fish darting about. There was a waterfall, and afterwards she washed her hair under it and generally looked like an Angel.
However, most times it ends with what I perceive as a random Lithuanian road trip - unspoilt plains, gently rolling slopes and little farms.

In other news, my holiday is perhaps going worse than I predicted - in the 12 days since we broke up, I have ventured further than a few streets from my house a total of 4 times - once to see my Grandparents, and once to go shopping.
My friends who have lives have unfortunately been rather busy of late, so obviously the fall-back position of meeting up with me has been made a little redundant.
However, yesterday something amazing happened (or at least what passes as amazing for a man who sees taking pictures of dustcarts as something to do), and it means that I can sit here and delude myself that things might work out some more, so excellent news (for a man who has no other, at least).

I set myself a number of writing tasks for the holiday, anticipating boredom, and of course there is omnipresent German revision (not to mention other kinds), yet time still stretches before me like a great yawning chasm...
Can I use the opportunity which sprung up yesterday to turn this thing around?
It's unlikely, but I'll keep you posted - after all, I have little else to do.

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Monday, April 10th, 2006
12:29 pm - All Heil the 'New Powertrak'...
I'm so bored I've just taken a picture of a dustcart.

It had an amusing slogan printed on the side: 'Heil the New Powertrak'.

Now, I'm not in the habit of giving the Nazi salute to anyone, let alone dust cart drivers, and in Germany you can be arrested for it.
I also question why this dustcart is so different to any other that it would inspire anyone to bestow such unfettered and uncontrollable adoration on it - to name the vehicle model 'Heil', you'd imagine it had to have something.

Quite what it is about this dustcart which makes it so special remains to be seen, although I hear the company have two new slogans in the pipeline:

'Ein Volk, Ein Lordswood Landfill, Ein Führer' as well as 'Seig Heil uber Der Müll' (or 'hail victory over the waste').

Yes, I know this officially makes me the saddest person on earth.

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